Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Wow! February was my last post? There is probably a very good reason for that! Husband on business trips....two year old who I we have been trying to potty train...Two year old that destroys plays ever so sweetly in our cluttered well kept home...lake house being built in a record 56 days...that doesn't include the before preparation and the after construction including;moving in and little projects we wanted to do to make this house a little more comfortable.

All kidding aside....you just never know what life will be seconds...minutes...hours...days...weeks...months or years down the road. Plan as you like...but life has a way of knocking you off track. This is where you have to decide...am I going to get back up or am I going to sit here and mope on my backside? I prefer getting up...brushing myself off and continuing on with the plan God has for me...after I attempt to mope. There are times when I can't seem to keep my eyes on Jesus...that's when I fall! He ever so patiently waits with me until I can get my focus on Him. We then continue on this life journey together...just as He has planned.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder! When my husband is preparing for a business trip my stomach starts to churn. The thoughts of trying to do this(raising the kids) alone is something I do not relish...even it's for one week! But God in His ever so merciful way uses this time to show me just how merciful...even though at times I don't feel it...He really is. Why do I do this...dreading the thought of spending a week without the man that I depend on for hands on help(with 9 kids help is a must)? Is it fear or fatigue? Why do I struggle? God's grace is ALWAYS sufficient for me! With each day passing my heart grows fonder with the anticipation of him coming home. Isn't that how we should be anticipating Christ's return?

2 Corinthians 12:9 (King James Version)
9.And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Being a mom of many and trying to do it all on my own, is a thought I never want to experience for more than a week at a time. This past spring I had a chance to view an Army unit preparing to leave for an over seas tour of duty. All I can say is "I have nothing to complain about!" Having a family separated for many many months is a major sacrifice that our men and women in uniform do on a daily basis. They allow this sacrifice in their own families for our freedom to be with our loved ones! I think I can handle one week....I'm tough!

Recently there has been a large family in the news. This family has come to a point of total collapse. We really don't know what goes on behind closed doors.What seems perfect...may be total chaos when no one is looking. But God knows...He knows it all! He is just waiting for us to surrender and invite Him to lead us with His design for our lives. He really knows us better than we know ourselves. As I listened to this mom share her fears, one stood out to me...she said "she really didn't want to do this alone." I guess what she is experiencing is what we all fear at some point in raising kids...raising them alone. But could we? God can be a father to the fatherless. Sometimes raising them alone is not a choice we ever would choose. It's just something that happens!

My mom never would have chosen to raise my sisters and I alone. It's just something that happened one night very unexpectedly...My day was killed in a automobile wreck. It's something that changed our lives forever. I would not be the person I am today had that tragic event not happened. I might not have met my husband and more than likely would not have had these 9 great kids....maybe more maybe less! Who's to say? God in His perfect will for my life knew that in losing my dad I would gain so much more. That is a hard pill to swallow! Yes, I miss my dad every day...30 years later! I do dream of what life would be like had he not died that night. But as I put my faith and trust in a saviour who has a much better plan that I do...I can rest easy in knowing that He knows my future with all it's good and bad. I just pray that I will keep the faith and keep my eyes on Him. Because with Jesus... I am never alone!

2nd Timothy 1:7 tells us:
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

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